“Call me Deviant”

figpuckpicThere are few things intrinsically less amusing than the novelty beer label: It is a medium of tortured puns, dated references and “saucy” humour that rarely solicits more than the faintest of smirks.

If you attempt to marry this with an attempt at satire, you are hamstrung by the slow nature of the brewing process which will render any attempt at topicality as bitingly relevant as a gag about John Prescott on a decade-old repeat of Mock the Week, playing on a muted TV behind the counter at a kebab shop.

So obviously, we had to give it a go.

Expertly brewed by one of our favourite breweries, FIGPUCKER is our cynical attempt to cash in on the festive, comedy, secret santa-gift buying market. It’s a tasty, moderately priced saison spiced with honey and fig.

So why FIGPUCKER? Simply put-someone had to. The very fact that The Prime Minister of The United Kingdom has been accused by erstwhile colleagues of engaging in necrobestiality is amazing enough, but what’s even more extraordinary is the way the (patently untrue) story has disappeared from public discourse mere weeks after breaking.

But we couldn’t let it lie, so think of this beer as our small way of celebrating 2015’s most outlandish political revelation. (after all, it’s unlikely that the Post Office will issue a commemorative stamp any time soon)

I suppose there’s a chance some of you might be offended by the spoonerism; maybe Dave has a few friends up here and some may take offence at the thinly veiled reference to his (alleged) sexual practices.

To those, I say this- If we wanted to be political, we would of made reference to the multiple times he misled the house about the tax affairs of a lord and party donor. If we wanted to make it a class issue, then we would have mentioned the secretive oxbridge societies who engage in humiliating initiation rites purely as a means of mutual blackmail when their members hold high office or become captains of industry.

Instead we went for a stupid, low-brow dirty joke, simply because it’s “saucy” and “amusing”.

What else do you expect? After all we’re talking about a seasonal novelty beer.